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| Credits goes to Andy Mineo & Saint Francis of Assisi |
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
"You don't know who you are."
Right now, I'm embarking on another side project. I wish I could share with you what it is. When it all works out, I will let you know. But for now, I shall keep silent.
****
Time sure flies fast. The day I've been dreading is just around the corner. March 2013. Results Day... I'm excited in a way ; to find out how I fare in the the so-called university entrance exam but at the same time, I'm worried that I might walk away dissapointed. Whatever it is, I shall face it with a brave front. I mean, I know that I did my very best and in the end of the day, that's all that matters.
****
Time sure flies fast. The day I've been dreading is just around the corner. March 2013. Results Day... I'm excited in a way ; to find out how I fare in the the so-called university entrance exam but at the same time, I'm worried that I might walk away dissapointed. Whatever it is, I shall face it with a brave front. I mean, I know that I did my very best and in the end of the day, that's all that matters.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
reflections.
It's already February.
It didn't really register to me until today.
I guess, work really got to me. I mean, it took up most of my time these days... most of me at least.
Not that I'm not grateful or anything ; honestly, I'm more than happy that I have something to look forward to every morning. I wouldn't really say it's my passion or anything. It's just that it fulfilled its purpose : to fill up my free time. In fact, I manage to pick up some good habit during my work experience.
I learn to be patient.
Especially when the computer and the internet decides to lag on me. Or when I had to wait for the second train to come when I couldn't enter the first one. Not forgetting also, when people cut my line countless time. I learn to put up with them also.
I learn to eat healthier.
Got into eating vegetarian at least once a week with my lovely colleagues at work. To put more thoughts into what I'm eating everyday to care for my body ; temple of the Holy Spirit.
I got back into reading again.
Travelling to work and back can be a bore at times. Too much people staring is not good for ..others as well as me of course. So, venturing into another adventure while I'm off to work and going home is good as it allows my imagination to run wild. Right now, I'm enjoying the work of Gail Tsukiyama's The Samurai's Garden. It's nice to "travel" to Tarumi, Japan and reading Stephen-san's daily adventure and to fathom his thoughts about being a Chinese in Japan during the World War II.
I learn to be Quiet.
It's doing me so much good. I'm processing my thoughts more. I've never been so comfortable with silence before. It's nice to be me again. To be shut off from the loud, rowdy world once in a while to enjoy some solitude. To listen to His voice from time to time. To pray more in my heart whenever I remember, whenever I can.
*****
On the side note, I'm feeling so drained. And it's only been one month. Already, I can feel that I'm slowly reverting back to my old, painful self. I don't want to be termed as anti-social so I try to be outgoing and happy and talktative and well, you get the idea. But I shouldn't be doing that. I know, because I've just finish Quiet by Susan Cain. If you can get a hold on that book, please do. Introverts and extroverts alike, you will be blessed by her work.
Perhaps, it's all that caused me to be so tired that it's visible on my expression today. Honestly, I wasn't sleepy at all. In fact, I've got enough rest. It's just that I enjoy being with myself. I'm not in love with the idea of being lonely, but I enjoy solitude so much. Sometimes, I wish they would understand that
I need some time away. Even for awhile.
I wish I have a mentor or a close friend I can talk to about these wild tides of feelings. I feel like they sometimes take over me and it can be so overwhelming.
More than anything, I need You.
It didn't really register to me until today.
I guess, work really got to me. I mean, it took up most of my time these days... most of me at least.
Not that I'm not grateful or anything ; honestly, I'm more than happy that I have something to look forward to every morning. I wouldn't really say it's my passion or anything. It's just that it fulfilled its purpose : to fill up my free time. In fact, I manage to pick up some good habit during my work experience.
I learn to be patient.
Especially when the computer and the internet decides to lag on me. Or when I had to wait for the second train to come when I couldn't enter the first one. Not forgetting also, when people cut my line countless time. I learn to put up with them also.
I learn to eat healthier.
Got into eating vegetarian at least once a week with my lovely colleagues at work. To put more thoughts into what I'm eating everyday to care for my body ; temple of the Holy Spirit.
I got back into reading again.
Travelling to work and back can be a bore at times. Too much people staring is not good for ..others as well as me of course. So, venturing into another adventure while I'm off to work and going home is good as it allows my imagination to run wild. Right now, I'm enjoying the work of Gail Tsukiyama's The Samurai's Garden. It's nice to "travel" to Tarumi, Japan and reading Stephen-san's daily adventure and to fathom his thoughts about being a Chinese in Japan during the World War II.
I learn to be Quiet.
It's doing me so much good. I'm processing my thoughts more. I've never been so comfortable with silence before. It's nice to be me again. To be shut off from the loud, rowdy world once in a while to enjoy some solitude. To listen to His voice from time to time. To pray more in my heart whenever I remember, whenever I can.
*****
On the side note, I'm feeling so drained. And it's only been one month. Already, I can feel that I'm slowly reverting back to my old, painful self. I don't want to be termed as anti-social so I try to be outgoing and happy and talktative and well, you get the idea. But I shouldn't be doing that. I know, because I've just finish Quiet by Susan Cain. If you can get a hold on that book, please do. Introverts and extroverts alike, you will be blessed by her work.
Perhaps, it's all that caused me to be so tired that it's visible on my expression today. Honestly, I wasn't sleepy at all. In fact, I've got enough rest. It's just that I enjoy being with myself. I'm not in love with the idea of being lonely, but I enjoy solitude so much. Sometimes, I wish they would understand that
I need some time away. Even for awhile.
I wish I have a mentor or a close friend I can talk to about these wild tides of feelings. I feel like they sometimes take over me and it can be so overwhelming.
More than anything, I need You.
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